Megan and Jasmine have already done this, but I was kinda bored, so I thought I'd give it a try. You can go to Google, and put in your name+needs and see what comes up. Pretty funny, except for the R. Kelly ones - I'll leave those out. :)
Kelly needs to keep the drama going
Kelly needs a quivering antennae
Kelly needs her brother backstage
Kelly needs to dump Katherine Heigl - NOW!
Kelly needs a new attitude
Kelly needs a little guidance
Kelly needs a new job
Kelly needs to pee
Kelly needs to stop speaking Italian
Kelly needs a $25,000 mouthpiece
Grant's weren't that funny, except for the first one...
Grant needs wife